Tuesday, May 8, 2007
What was cool:
Venom. Right off the bat, you have the symbiote which augments all attributes of it's host as per Doc Connors' report. Not only augmenting his powers but also his state of mind. He was in a dark depressing state and the symbiote fed off that. I'm not sure people understood that. It also augmented how much of a geek he was hence the strut scene.
Now actually using Eddie Brock and Venom longer than assumed five minute fight at the end of the movie people thought there would be was cool. Venom looked good, Topher Grace made Eddie brock the asshole he was. The mysteriously absent remains from the explosion is a nice segue into a future film as was the bits left behind.
This also felt like a Sam Raimi movie. It felt like Evil Dead and Darkman. The camera style was there, the classic Raimi comedic scenes were there. The "This would be awesome in 3-d" camera angles were there. Bruce Campbell "I am French" was there. It worked.
The humor was there too, a big deal with Spidey. He cracks jokes and smarts off to the bad guys. He didn't do it so much here but there was some great humourous moments. "Where do these guys keep coming from?"
Venom. The whole thing felt thrown on like the studio demanded it. Especially when all the advertising became about Venom. Sam Raimi more than likely had this grand tale of Peter Parker facing his Uncle's murderer in the Sandman planned out, as well as dealing with Goblin Jr. at the same time. What I expected from this was Sandman and Green Goblin 2 teaming up to face Spidey and the black suit being some sort of power up Parker is forced to use. But that didn't happen.
The villains all find out his identity, again. That's what sucks about Ultimate Spidey, besides the terrible drawn out storylines and ultimatization of characters just to say I made this one by a certain overhyped writer who loves his publicity good or bad and the bad art, er, all the bad guys know who spider-man is. All of them. What's the point of having a secret identity?
Not enough action, too much time spent with the MJ relationship and the completely unncessesary addition of Gwen Stacy and Captain Stacy. Captain Stacy could have easily been any other of the police officers Spidey has dealt with before, Jean DeWolfe for instance. Gwen as this other woman didnt really fit because it wasn't like there was actually an attraction there for Peter he was all emo for MJ. Plus Kirsten Dunst is a piss poor actress and a terrible Mary Jane who seems to think the movie is all about her whenever she's interviewed.
Also, Gwen just looked weird, not quite crossed eyed but close.
What I caught that only a fanboy of my nature could have caught:
Doc Connors missin' an arm, gots himself some symbiote left, potential for the Lizard and Carnage.
Hal Fishman as the news anchor, think about it.
"There's not even a scar" Hinting at the possibility the goblin formula granted accelerated healing abilities.
Plenty of hints and red herrings for the future of this franchise. Because 1, it broke all the records. There will be a Spider-Man 4. Maybe some cast will change, honestly, I don't mind the idea of a new MJ. Tobey Maguire leaving might be bad, especially since the only kid I could think to replace him was Topher Grace. Maybe that nerdy guy from the OC could do it.
But having seen it and knowing there's bound to be number four I can only think of how to do it now. Who's he fight? He's faced his demons, beaten Goblin, Sandman, his uncle's killer and redeemed his best friend. What could possibly go wrong for him now? The universe hates you Peter Parker, show us that. Give us overbearing odds, even with help you won't beat. Scorpion, Electro, Vulture, Mysterio, Kraven, Lizard, hell, friggin' Hobgoblin would be a good enemy now.
I envision a Spider-Man 4 with The Vulture, The Scorpion, and the Lizard. A Spider-Man 5 with Kraven, Mysterio and maybe the Hobgoblin. A Spider-Man 6 with the Sinister Six to end the franchise, which I heartell Raimi would love to do and I'd love to see him do it.
But Spider-Man 3, good, however it has it's drawbacks and I would say too many characters. It does look like parts of the movie were designed specifically for the game though. Especially the final fight and the first Sandman encounter.
I give it a good movie rating.
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Who goes around the internet, looking for a populated site such as a message board or a "prominent" blog, and then goes and decides "Hey I think I'll harass these people" and posts stupid things in an attempt to flame them? What is the draw? I tried it once, but couldn't really force myself into posting in a poorly written net lingo style. I can purposefully say things just to piss someone off, but it's quite obvious when I do and then the coversation turns to "Oh you're just saying that to piss me off aren't you?" and ends. Online you do not have a verbal tone, you have a written tone. Most people online are not trained writers and beyond capitalizing their words to make it seem like shouting, or emphasis, the tone is all context. You may be saying something meaning it to be calm, but the reader in turn reads it as an angry hate brainless post and responds as seen fit. That is why fighting online is stupid. Arguing is understandable, opinions disagree, but turning into a fight is different.
Changing from a simple opinion driven but calm discussion to overly opinionated and angered cuss match is just stupid and pointless. Nothing is accomplished by that, except maybe peace of mind for those involved believing themselves to be right. A calm discussion of an argument is the logical way to process whatever the argument is about. If there is a point to it, an actual two sided debate where one side is right and the other is wrong, you will be more likely to prove yourself to be in the right without freaking out in anger. That goes for both online and off. Turning into a heated debate with personal jabs and curses being thrown about will never be a good way to argue.
This somewhat covers that concept of a code of conduct on the internet. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Didn't your mother ever tell you that? I don't understand what is wrong with so many people online that their arguments turn to fighting with such ease. Perhaps there needs to be some sort of online ettiquette class in schools these days so the next generation doesn't turn out like this Online Generation has been. Kids are getting online younger and younger, and do they really need to be exposed to the concept of a flame war before they've even had their first heated argument offline? Teach them not to flame, teach them not to troll, not to do things they shouldn't online, make them aware that there are consequences to online behavior, but most importantly, teach them to type real words, not the shorthand you get from texting on your cellphones.
Maybe if you get them young, you can prevent the next generation of internet kids from turning into a flame war ridden bunch of a-holes like this one. Oh who am I kidding, there's always going to be that one guy who's just a dick online because he can't be offline. The one who will go to a messageboard, get banned, then keep coming back under different aliases, for months if not years at a time. Yes, that happens all the time online. I'm disgusted by these people. They're also the ones who make a big deal out of deleting comments on blogs, they want people to see what they did. These are the people who cannot argue without fighting online, probably offline too. They're that one annoying guy who has to always be right regardless of wether or not he really is. He's not right, just the loudest. Everyone encounters this guy or girl in their life at least once, usually twice. Imagine those people, online, anonymous, and without the concept of a consequence for their actions. Now imagine if that's what kids saw when they went online and then they learned from that. Flaming, not arguing, there's a difference, kids.
Arguing online, not that big of a deal. It happens, it's expected. Fighting, come on, you should be better than that. Learn to write if you are going to be online. Remember this dear reader, you are probably guilty of this once or twice since coming online. You may have even fallen for the trap of a troll. It happens. Get over it, and move on. Learn and do the right thing for once.
Winning a fight on the internet is like winning the special olympics. Just saying.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Of course that's based on the theory your zombie apocalypse scenario has an ending. Most zombie apocalypses(apcalypsi?) are end of all things kind of zombie scenarios. George A. Romero's great epic Living Dead series presents that the world is so overrun with zombies and all who die, not just from being bit, rise again. That kinda puts into perspective that life is over and there's no chance for a tomorrow.
But first we have to establish the basics to survive a zombie scenario. We have to figure out which category it fits into, or rather what kind of zombie are we dealing with. Now, for a zombie apocalypse, it would have to be the living dead not a mindless, voodoo controlled, being. I'm fairly sure we can get past living zombies with ease compared to the undead. Now when presented with a zombie apocalypse, I ask myself the following questions:
1. What category of Zombie attack is this? What begat the zombie plague you are facing?
- Biological - A virus or some other biological means that has made the dead rise, and spreads a contagion that converts living tissue into zombie. Also included in this would be radiation affecting the biology of a living person turning them into a zombie.
- Chemical - A chemical compound has reanimated flesh, and even the seperation of the brain will not stop the body from functioning as it is reanimated not alive.
- Metaphysical - No explaination can be found. Death has simply stopped caring and sent everyone back. Perhaps the afterlife is full, perhaps an evil spirit in the woods has awakened, or maybe God just hates you. Either way, the dead are just rising and killing. Now, metaphysical just rising dead can also just rise and not be psychotic killers but rather just regular joes, but the more the brain has decayed the more likely it is they will kill.
2. How do you kill your zombie? To survive you will have to kill at least one.
- Brain Death - "Just shoot them in the head" Any kind of injury to the brain or spinal cord will have the same effect it will on a normal person. Body goes down without any functions.
- Full Body Death - The brain is gone, head is gone, spines broken, the flesh is still alive. You may just have to completely dismember the corpse or burn it. But with burning you risk the contamination of zombie ashes.
- Rare but always possible "Just shoot them" death - The reanimated corpse can be killed as easily as the first time it died. No special means, heck you could choke the sucker out.
3. How does the future look? Is there a chance for a return to normality?
- Biological - In the biological category, a cure is usually possible. A gene may exist in some people that prevents the viral agent from taking over or perhaps the virus is only temporary and the immune system can kick it out. Maybe the zombie can starve to death? Maybe chemo works? In the biological case, it's usually a good chance for normality to return if you survive.
- Chemical - This too generally has a cure or at least an antithesis to the first chemical. A way to break down whatever has reanimated the dead. But many times it's likely whomever invented the reanimation reagent dies before they figure out the antidote.
- Metaphysical - This is tricky. Depending on what metaphysical manner has risen the dead, you have a chance or you might as well just give up. Evil spirits? Containable. Afterlife's full and the dead are just walking around with nowhere to go? Managable. Dead just rising? Might want to just hide out on an island until you die of old age.
Also always take into consideration wether or not animals are rising too. If a mosquito is a zombie then you're probably screwed.
Now once those questions are answered, you would then have to think of how you survive. Where are you? An isolated area? Populated city? What do you have available to defend yourself with?
What you have to do in most cases is find shelter, and wait it out. I recomend the Dawn of the Dead scenario more than anything. Board yourself up in a mall, you will more than likely survive in comfort there. If you can't find a mall, any kind of department store will do, especially a Wal-Mart. In an isolated area? You have the best chance then, you have days before any serious number of zombies come for you. You can fortify your defenses, and prepare for the onslaught.
The ideal place to hide would be an island. Rigor Mortis, decaying flesh, and water do not mix well. Even if the zombie can get into the water, chances are they won't be able to just walk on over to your island and even then, the water weight will make them easy pickings.
But let's talk a mall, or department store, the most likely area to hide and survive:
Inside you will have food, shelter, fresh clothing, weaponry, and defendable terrain. It should be no hard concept to figure out how to defend yourself inside one of these places unless there is no power. Which is a possibility but there's also a good chance wherever you are will be selling generators and flashlights anyway. The first thing you have to do once getting to the safety zone of the mall/store is to find and seal off all entrances and exits. Anyway outside needs to be covered. Doors, windows, fire escapes, perhaps a tunnel system underneath leading to a parking garage. The Parking garage will be the worst place you can find, if possible you will want to collapse the parking structure somehow. Make sure it does not damage the building in any accessible way. It would be ideal if you could just collapse the garage and seal off exits without any problem. Realistically, you may need to just move some cars around. No keys? Red to yellow or yellow to blue, or just stab the keyhole with a screwdriver. Move the cars as close as possible to the entrances and exits, if the parking garage is secure and you have found no zombies, I recomend moving all the cars into blocking off the first floor and main entrance. Rig some to blow up if necessary.
Once the parking area is secure, lock all the doors. Seal them as much as possible. Cement, weld them shut, brace them somehow, anything to make sure nothing can get through. Now here is the tricky part, you will want one or two emergency exits for the just in case scenario. Never should they be on a ground floor. A rooftop, second or higher story window, basement access, or if possible, the loading area. A loading dock area should be big enough to hold some kind of vehicle inside, store it just in case, and seal the big metal doors, they won't get in but you can get out if you need to.
Once your building is secure it's time to arm up and set defences. You will want guns. Swords and axes look cool in movies, but suck in close range zombie fights. Blunt objects are ridiculously unsafe too. A gun is what you need. The shotgun is superior in it's ability to easily remove the head, but for most people it's impractical. A shotgun does not hold many rounds, it is not accurate, and the kick may be a bit much for some. A handgun, 9mm or so, works just fine and accuracy can be easily improved upon. Automatic weapons are probably the best line of defense you can have. The rapidfire sound may even scare zombies away as opposed to the one shot sound. They too can easily remove a head and hold much more ammunition. Remember to stock up on ammo. You will run out during an attack, you will have to reload. You cannot just fire a shotgun over and over without reloading.
If you are forced into a close encounter fight you will want the supreme zombie fighting weapon. The Chainsaw. Use it. Embrace it. Make it part of you. Never let it into the wrong hands.
Which brings me to my next point. Beware of how competent your zombie is. Fresh zombies have not been hit with rigor mortis, they will be fast and wild. Some can even retain knowledge to use weapons and tools. There is a chance you could encounter the rare but possible, smart zombie. No rigor mortis, still aware of himself, but also crazy and hungry. He can still fire a weapon and dodge a bullet. Most undead zombies will stand there and take the shell to the head, this one will dodge and try to fight the gun away from you.
If you can maintain your weapons, hold your defenses, and wait out until help comes, you may survive a zombie apocalypse.
But be warned, there is one scenario deadliest of all. The Lovecraftian Frankenstein Zombie scenario. By pure chance, you might be encounter a reanimated corpse made up of multiple corpses to be some form of super soldier. If may even have animal parts to give it an edge. Chances are you won't be able to take this bastard of science down with a bullet to the head at all. With these things, it has to be fire or electricution. Something to really damage the flesh.
Keep your nose clean, be alert, always carry extra ammo, never go out alone if you can avoid it. Try to find a group to survive with, being trapped alone may drive you mad. And remember, always run from zombies if you can. Do not stand your ground, they will eat your brains.
Now my topic list. Seven topics, seven days:
Picking a fight online
Comic Book Industry
Why Democracy doesn't work
People, Places, and Things I hate
How we pick an exact date, time, and method of pulling out of Iraq safely and leaving it capable of sustaining itself without our presence or How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
I'm slightly ashamed of you blog. I demand you get readers and make them comment on you or I will do something not nice. Or not. Either way it'd be nice to have a comment to present.
I'm so behind my project proposal it isn't even funny.